Off the Charts
Van’s sacred space for technical analysis, interpretive dance, and drunk Fibonacci readings.
These aren’t your CFA’s charts. These are trendlines drawn with a cocktail straw, patterns spotted through beer goggles, and signals that may or may not be just vibes.
Head & Shoulders? More like Headache & Shenanigans.
MACD? Might Actually Cause Delirium.
All charts. No clarity. 100% conviction. #Drunkonomics
Risk Drinks in Silence.
Right now, price is calm. Too calm.
Volatility Fragility Index (VFI):
Down at 0.68 and falling. That’s “normal.” Like the kind of normal you feel before a tornado hits. The system’s calm because it hasn't realized it's doomed yet.
Cole Score:
We’re flashing yellow and pink. Not a cocktail recipe—those are readings between “mild tailwinds” and “hawk ascending.” Which basically means, “We’re climbing, but if someone sneezes, this thing rolls.”
Risk Rising Signals:
You can see the warnings flare up before the last drawdowns. You know what else flares up before disaster? Heartburn and margin calls.
VRSM (Volatility Risk Spread Monitor):
Spread’s tight. Like, “don’t worry about it” tight. Which is exactly when Van starts to worry about it. Because when spreads are too chill, it usually means nobody’s hedged for the punch they’re about to take in the teeth.
This chart doesn’t say “bull market.” It says “this is how every bad decision starts.”
The market looks fine. But so did Lehman in August.
Everything says “carry on,” which in Drunkonomics terms means “the trap hasn’t sprung yet.”
This is the part of the horror movie where no one’s died—yet.