Book the Dip
Rent-a-Rant
Need unhinged macro takes, slurred sarcasm, and the sound of ice clinking behind technical analysis? Book Van for your next podcast, X Space, or intervention.
He brings chaos, comedy, and cocktail-fueled commentary on markets, the Fed, and why your portfolio is crying.
Perfect for:
- Finance pods that don’t take themselves seriously
- Spaces hosted by traders who need to laugh through the pain
- Macro debates where no one knows what's going on
- Any situation where alpha needs alcohol
Appearance fee varies based on liquidity, inflation, and bar tab.
DMs open. Sobriety optional.
Apply below to summon Van into your podcast, X Space, or general audio chaos.
Apply below to summon Van into your podcast, X Space, or general audio chaos.
Apply below to summon Van into your podcast, X Space, or general audio chaos.
Apply below to summon Van into your podcast, X Space, or general audio chaos.
Apply below to summon Van into your podcast, X Space, or general audio chaos.
Apply below to summon Van into your podcast, X Space, or general audio chaos.
Booking Inquiry
Name:
Don’t lie, I’ll mispronounce it anyway
Show / Space Title:
Bonus points if it includes a pun or profanity
Requested Date:
No 8am slots unless mimosas are guaranteed
Time and Time Zone
I need to know when to pretend to care
Topic(s)
“Fed gaslighting” and “macro mood swings” are always valid
Preferred Vibe:
- Loose but informative
- Full spiral
- Slurred charts and scandal
- Just yell at the Fed with me
Budget / Appearance Fee Offer
This determines how drunk I’ll be
Risk Tolerance:
- Low
- Medium
- I once bought the top of ARKK
Preferred Spirit (optional, but strongly encouraged)
Example: “Negroni-fueled Powell slander”
🗣Anything else Van should know before making a scene?
Contact Us
Van Drunkenmiller
Copyright © 2025 Van Drunkenmiller - All Rights Reserved.
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